Broke: If Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark ever met, they’d try to outsmart/outdo each other
Woke: it would actually just be Alfred and Jarvis swapping stories about their reckless charges
tony-has-anxietyattacks-so-do-i:
Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*
May,sitting on peter’s desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?
Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!
Tony, turning on the light: Try again.
This is so in character that I can see the scene in my head and had to double check if I just made a false memory by reading this post
Steve Rogers, hacking off anti-homeless spikes with his shield repeatedly while the police surround him: Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I’m just– *hack hack*– so clumsy with with this old thing sometimes, you know– *hack hack hack*– gosh golly look it’s flying all over the place isn’t it, deary me-
Police Officer: Sir this is destruction of public property
Steve: *Hack hack hack hack* Is it? I’m SO sorry! just– *hack*–, give me about five minutes officer and I think I’ll be able to get it under control. This shield sure has a life of its own huh! *hacks extra vigorously while keeping direct eye contact with the police*
Tony, about two hours later: Steve why are you in jail again, we’ve talked about this–
Steve: They just got upset because I broke all seven of the sets of handcuffs they tried to put me in. Apparently that counts as ‘resisting arrest’.
Tony: And why exactly where you being arrested in the first place, Cap?
Steve: …well that might’ve been because i destroyed thousands of dollars’ worth of anti-homeless architecture omw to the bank. Maybe.
Tony: For FUCK’S SAKE Steve
-1 week later-
Tony: Hi May! So, this isn’t what it looks like.
May: So you and my nephew weren’t arrested for taking off the bars from over a dozen benches, as well as taking out several other instances of hostile architecture?
Tony: Okay, so it’s exactly what it sounds like actually.
May, tearing up: Baby’s first act of civil disobedience!
Peter, no longer using Tony as a human shield: Wow, that went better than I thought it would.
Tony: Don’t relax just yet Pete, because we still forgot to tell-
Steve, stomping around the corner: You guys lEFT ME AT HOME!
Tony: -him.
Steve: I WOULD’VE HELPED! IT WOULD’VE BEEN A BONDING EXPERIENCE!
SPOTTED: A mural done on a wall in England since the release of Avengers: Endgame.
(posted on reddit by u/razbiboi)
A Shrine ™
literally all of tonys armors since mark ii take like 30 extra seconds to assemble cause he wants the plates and parts to click together in a drawn out sequence like some hi tech scaley rube goldberg machine as he dramatically stares ahead @ the enemy. and slowing down nanite tech just so he can take his sunglasses off for no reason in infinity war just hammers my point down like God he’d really risked his life every time for the ~visual poetry of putting on a fuckin battle armor i love that stupit man so much
he literally dropped out of a 2638th story window before even starting to form the suit in endgame like i just know in my heart if jarvis was alive hed take none of that bs
Love you 3000, Mr Stark ❤️💛